My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
