my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
