I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
