I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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