Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
