so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm just crazy horny about you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
