It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
