do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
