Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize