It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
