i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
