Say something about gay babies.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pants are for mortals
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
