just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
