Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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