I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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