That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
