Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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