Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
