whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
