I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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