Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
