It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
