New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
