he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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