Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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