my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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