Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
