Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
