I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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