she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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