I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
