I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
