how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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