VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
