this beer tastes like vomit already
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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