Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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