i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
