youre lurking in front of me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize