Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
