dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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