the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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