i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
