I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
