I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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