I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
