Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
