My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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