I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
