WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
