So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
