im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
