it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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