dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
