Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
