She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
