hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize