i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
organizing the empties. That sober.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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