i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
