Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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