hell yes lets make some ravioli
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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