Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
