it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
