I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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