I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
