I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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