before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
