Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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