took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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