If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
