me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
